I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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