You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
