Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
