I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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