No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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