I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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