Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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