I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My dick has a subreddit
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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