D3 body, D1 cock
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
