ugly people sure do ruin things
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
