Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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