How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
