So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I checked into jail on foursquare
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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