boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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