Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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