ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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