You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Someone came in the potted fern
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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