no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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