YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
