I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
