He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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