if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
