I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
