I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
