You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
