Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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