I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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