Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
