non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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