my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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