dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
