You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hate all girls vehemently.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
