just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize