Me too!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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