piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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