I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Is Oprah even human
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
