I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
