the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize