You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
