my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
