i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
