Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
