I want to have your abortion
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
