oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
