i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
