I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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