love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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