hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
