We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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