I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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