Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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