Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
