gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
