these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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