Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
