Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
