And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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