hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
