just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
