I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
