I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
