Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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