just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
