Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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