Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
