There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
