we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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