I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
