The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he puts the penis in happiness.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
