Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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