butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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