Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this boner is exhausting
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
