I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
