she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
